Original newsletter date – 5/27/19
I have a client who has been going through a very, very hard time with the way the energy has been shifting recently. She is a healer, has been all her life (even before she knew it), and is very psychic, or as she defines it, “energetically aware”. The following is a recent experience we had together over several readings, which I write with her permission.
She has always felt very alone in that she is an Aquarian Age soul born into the Piscean Age (i.e., born before 1989) and was never understood. She functioned in the world well even though she felt she was frequently “faking it”. She always felt that her difference left her without peers. Even in eventually understanding that her path as a healer separated her from the standard flow of society or accepting a “normal” path, she still felt alone.
In these last months, including the ending of 2018, she’s been very depressed. Being highly sensitive to the instability of the energy, she feels it on all levels, sometimes with physical reactions. She is also in touch with Earth’s energy and can feel the sorrow the Earth feels from people having no awareness or care for her. On a visit to Sedona’s vortexes years ago, she openly wept in feeling what the Earth was feeling (and she doesn’t cry easily).
She asked me for help in knowing what was going on with her and if there was anything she could do about it. We talked about the energy shifting that is an overall arc from one Age to the next, and about the little “nudges” that help us adjust, like astrological rhythms (new and full moons, retrogrades, etc.) and the electromagnetic bombardment from solar flares and storms that make us feel like we put our fingers in a light socket.
Then to what she could do about it. There are suggestions I’ve accumulated from various sources over the years – meditation, chanting, drumming, reprogramming self-awareness through the List of 40 Things, but because she needed something special to match her vibration, I got a message to give her something different. I asked her to write a letter to her life, as if she was at the end of it and in looking back, could tell her soul-self about her experiences, good and bad, and everything in between.
That intrigued her. When she sat down, thought about her life and what she wanted to write, the immediate words that came to her were “First, I want to express my gratitude for being able to be here in this life at this time when so much is going on and I can grow.” That surprised her. With everything she had been experiencing – feeling isolated and inadequate, depressed, and self-judgmental, which led to very unusual behavior (for her) of being testy and judgmental with others, cynically seeing the bad in the world rather than the good, and acting in hopelessness – gratitude was not what she thought she’d be writing about.
She continued her writing and found when she looked at the “bad” or difficult events or people in her life from this distance, while there was often sorrow or feelings of betrayal attached, there was also a very clear self-understanding and recognition of growth. When she wrote about the good, she remembered wonderfully positive things that she’d seemingly forgotten, things that had been overshadowed by the recent negative energy. While she continued to pick up the sometimes overwhelming fear and negativity we’re all experiencing, being able to look at the whole of her life made it easier for her to remember her purpose and inner strength.
This is a difficult time, especially for anyone who is “energetically aware”. Sometimes if we look at the bigger picture, from the beginning of our lives up to the present (or include past lives if we are aware of them), we can ground ourselves in who we are. As the vibrations constantly change around us in this New Age, we can sometimes lose ourselves. If we are the calm, wise, go-to person for those around us, losing ourselves has a much bigger impact and then we feel guilty for not being able to be there for others when it’s so hard to even be there for ourselves.
Granted, there are some who have spiritually chosen a karmic pay-back life where negative things are a regular occurrence. I’ve known a few for whom nothing goes right and everything goes wrong all the time. Most of us have had spurts of negative times in our lives when it feels that way but, again, for some, it’s their entire life.
We are not always aware we chose a karmic path when we’re on it – that’s a decision our soul-selves make before we’re born. In which case, looking back to the whole of our lives might not give reprieve. But it can bring in self-awareness if we can look at the negativity as finishing off a debt or helping another by taking on their debts or challenging self to grow through negative lessons.
No matter how annoying it can seem, everything happens for a reason. The point is to either to be aware of the reason, because that can make almost any negativity worth it, or to try to remember why your soul-self allowed something to happen (or accept that there is a reason even if we don’t remember).
Try writing a Letter to your Life and see how you feel about yourself and your path. It might bring clarity and grounding while we’re making the biggest transition of humankind.
I offer this with love and gratitude…