Even though we’re not finished with 2018 (or rather, 2018 isn’t finished with us), we’ve been through the hardest part. And yet, there’s still some clean up we have to do. While the challenges have been intense and seemingly never-ending this year – and have been/can be unpleasantly surprising – what’s coming up in the last several months is more of a forced reflection than facing anything new.
One client said her year so far felt like a “cosmic audit”; like she was in a multi-car pile-up every day. I’m happy to say there’s no more pile-up energy now, just healing and adapting to change that has already happened. That in itself can be difficult. We normally want to go back to what was comfortable, back to “the way things were” (or the way things should have been) before we experienced difficult demands, rather than adapt to the forced “new”. With all of us pretty raw and vulnerable from having to face one growth-requirement after another, adapting to the new seems almost as hard as facing the change in the first place.
It’s like having your leg trapped in your car within that multi-car pile-up. The accident itself is traumatic enough. But you’re in pain and fear, waiting for help. Then firemen and paramedics arrive and finally get you out and transport you to hospital. You’re examined by doctors and find you have to go through surgery. You’re whole when you wake up, but everything is different. With the trauma you experienced still a part of your psyche, now you have to face adjusting to a cast, perhaps depending on others when that’s not your norm, then have physical therapy, and possibly live with a cane, limp or knitted bones aching with weather changes for the rest of your life. You’re too tired to face it all, but you have to.
Right now it’s as if we’ve just woken up after the surgery and we’re in healing mode on all levels of our existence – physical, spiritual, mental and emotional – through the rest of this year and well into next year (although the energy is easier in 2019). While we must face what we need to heal on all those levels, we also need to function on all levels of our existing lives: in work, in relationships, as parents, in normal duties, and with our hopes and dreams. Plus we’re getting ready for the holidays, hoping that they bring some relief and pleasure after what we’ve experienced so far this year. That’s a lot of pressure.
The speed and depth of what we’ve faced so far this year can make us now feel we need to change something outside of ourselves – our job, home or location, dumping friends or lovers – to control what feels out of control. Or we can feel fed up with where we are in life at the moment. Hold on. Changing anything outside of us will not make us feel any better, more settled or comfortable. We just need to let our new vibration find its match in the world. If we don’t fight it, it becomes our new normal without us knowing we’re adapting to it. If we do fight it, we get Godsmacked until we learn to “Let Go, Let God”. We’re in good hands, but it’s still hard to trust everything will be ok, or even better, based on how unsettled we feel now.
Unfortunately, there’s no physical (or emotional) therapist who has the handle on what to do to help us on this new level of our evolution into becoming human beings. And remember, this year is about putting into practice the awareness that we are in control of nothing but who we are and how we present that to the world. It’s that trust thing again. Hard but necessary.
One area that can be especially trying is that of the change in relationships. Every relationship is a reflection of who we are, good and bad. But as we learn and grow, not only do we change, but that reflection changes, too. All relationships are “at risk” this year: family, love, work and every variation of friendship and acquaintanceship. As people look within themselves, it’s hard with that inner-focus to see that everyone else is changing, too. Many times, that can seem negative, in both us and others, as some are stuck in fear and won’t accept the lessons they agreed to. That clogs up the energy for everyone, but is part of our lesson, too.
That which has matched people up in our lives so far has shifted while we have been shifting in our personal vibrations. That means we’re all in new territory, which can bring unusually disappointing surprises when encountering and continuing relationships that have been with us a long time. I’ve heard from one client after another about how different a fifteen-year friendship has become this year, in a negative way, and they don’t understand what has changed. Most of us don’t see the change within us as we’re adapting to it every second of every day. Change is frequently imperceptibly incremental. So it seems the friend has changed when the truth is both are in new realities.
Long term relationships can be fading away or changing in such a way that friends or lovers sometimes don’t recognize their partner’s behavior. People throwing those closest and most loyal to them under the bus, whether on purpose or innately, are doing it for their own survival not necessarily to “get back” at others. Everyone’s scrambling to make sense of a world that only requires self-awareness. With the glut of young souls on the planet at this time, sometimes that’s beyond their pay grade. Betrayal and priority to self above all others are common and painful for all concerned.
We’re shedding our old skins right now and finding out who we are in the new vibration while we’re still vulnerable. So before we judge someone else and their changed behavior toward us, take a breath and sit in self-energy for a while. We want things to be the same, especially in relationships, because that makes us feel comforted in an uncomfortable time. If someone changes on us, it rattles us and we strike out not just because of that change but because we’re lost and someone else “should” be strong for us when we’re not (frequently because we’ve been strong for them previously). No one is strong right now. And it’s no one else’s responsibility to make sure any one else is strong (except for parents for their children).
Coming out of hospital after an accident and surgery means there’s still a long road to recovery. We don’t expect it to be different. So don’t expect the rest of 2018 to be without pain or discomfort while we’re healing. Everyone is adapting the best they can, whether or not they’re good at it. But we are healing. It’s important to remember that.
Before we judge others for how they’ve changed toward us, know it’s a reflection of how we have all changed, perhaps without consciously knowing it. Avoid judgment until the dust has settled. Then continue to avoid judgment because that says more about us than those we judge. Accept that some changes aren’t going to fit like they did before.
Life is change. All the time. We’re just getting an unusually big dose of it right now to get us up to speed in the New Age. Even though we might not like it or want to believe it, we’re all where we’re supposed to be right now. Take that as a base line, build your new reality around it and vibrational help and compatibility automatically follows.
I offer this with love and gratitude…