I saw this on social media a couple of weeks ago and it seemed to sum up what a lot of people are going through right now:
“Everything seems to be exhausting me. No matter how much sleep I get or how much coffee I drink, or how long I lie down, something inside me seems to have given up. My soul is tired.”
My soul is tired. That’s a sad but true statement for many, especially the unusually high number of young souls who can’t seem to catch a break. They’ve come into this life because their growth could be accelerated in this rare, changing time, so they’ve chosen many lessons to learn and karma to complete. But it was as if they’ve only ever spoken Latin; it’s what they were expecting when they arrived. Then they found the language of this life was Sanskrit – not only a different language but a different mindset. They could handle fast, hard lessons in Latin, but not if they had to learn another language and way of thinking first.
That’s how different the thinking is between the Piscean Age and the Aquarian Age.
Then there is the weariness of the older souls who came to help the younger souls make this transition. Even though they realized it would be hard work when they agreed to take it on, the fear and stuckness of those they’re trying to help and guide is much worse than expected. How many times can you teach a child (young soul) the same lesson when you see the reason they’re not learning is because of fear and ego, not because they can’t “get it”? They don’t want to. They give up. And while that costs the younger souls because the lessons don’t stop just because they want them to, it costs the older souls, too, because their agreement is still to help.
Both are facing brick walls.
The young souls are frustrated, not just because they’re afraid they can’t learn what they agreed to learn, but because they don’t know who they’ll be once they accomplish the lessons. It takes courage to jump into a life-altering (or lifetime/karma-altering) experience. When faced with one difficult lesson after another with no end in sight – in a different language – no matter how much courage there is, everyone has a breaking point.
There’s a huge difference between the theory of things and the fact of them. The idea of being able to accomplish a task with a theoretical understanding of how difficult it will be is usually overwhelmed when facing the facts of the task themselves. There’s no way that we can know the reality ahead of time. When the reality of what we’re trying to accomplish hits and hits and hits, as it’s doing in this lifetime without slowing down, it’s takes its toll.
I always knew I would be taking care of one or both of my parents when they got older. I volunteered for that with my soul and my heart, thinking I could handle anything because they were my parents and I am a strong person. Then my father died and my mother came to live with me. She immediately reverted to the competitive, selfish little girl she was in our first life together two thousand years ago. The fact of taking care of her was so different and so much harder than the theory of it. It cost me then, and took me years to recover after she died. The experience still limits me because I have yet to recoup the energy I spent on her.
But, I agreed to that before I came into this life. I knew it was coming. She agreed to grow up if I was her teacher. But Latin turned into Sanskrit and while I was learning/remembering Sanskrit, she quit learning at all and chose to exist in the non-reality bubble of Alzheimer’s. I have no regrets that I stuck to ride it out even though the experience depleted me. It was my karma. Luckily, I was aware of that and knowing it was that kind of duty gave me strength to get through it.
We’re all facing our karma right now. I mentioned in a previous posting that there were four people I know who were diagnosed with cancer in January, and one who died from complications from the flu. In the ensuing weeks, there have been two more cancer diagnoses (altogether, four of them lung cancer) and another death (before her time, not from cancer). Most of my clients who have called since the beginning of the calendar year did so because they needed clarity as karma was hitting them hard, or hitting someone close to them hard and the effect was spilling over on them.
This is a year when a lot of varying forces are coming into play: Karma from this life that has yet to be addressed… Karma from past lives that wasn’t addressed then and is catching up now… Young souls facing the accumulation of their chosen lessons when they have already given up… The combination of planetary activity in our solar system upping the game by making us look at ourselves and our deepest, core realities (significant retrogrades this year with Mercury, Mars and Venus – the planets that affect us the most)… The continuing challenge of concept change of Pluto in Capricorn… 2018 being a year forcing balance… The Year of the Earth Dog lessons…
We also have “help” from unexpected forces. Last week, solar activity scrambled our electromagnetic energy on Tuesday and then late Wednesday/early Thursday. On Tuesday, seven people were fired from the White House including Secretary of State Rex Tillerson. And Stephen Hawking died. While those events were in the works for some time, it took the chaos of the solar energy to bring them to a head. The chaos continued throughout the week. It was a purging or a bubble bursting after getting too big. Instead of looking at that as a hardship (which it was), we can also see it as tough-love help to get us through what we agreed to face.
We can’t escape what this year is trying to teach us. Nor should we want to.
I have some weird karma with my teeth. In my life, I’ve had my front teeth knocked out twice (once baby teeth, once adult), had eight teeth removed, braces for three years and a root canal in one of the stubs of front teeth that was knocked out when I was eighteen, in addition to the regular cavities and cleanings. Needless to say, going to the dentist is not what I do anymore unless there’s an emergency – I OD’d on the whole thing years ago.
Last week ago, the plug in the back of my front tooth with the root canal has come out and I’m going to have to face the accumulated trauma of going to a dentist. More teeth karma. I know if I don’t face it, it will only cause issues, but I really don’t want to. Still, I look at the accumulated karma and trauma that other people are facing in such huge quantities that me going to a dentist is nothing in comparison. It’s just a lot to me. I don’t know what this is trying to teach me. Perhaps it’s just healing karma from another life when teeth were an issue, so caring for them heals that trauma. I don’t need to figure it out. I just need to do it.
If we face what is in front of us without distraction or complaint or fear, we make what we agreed to learn and face so much easier. We’re in crunch time this year. Pull a “Nike” and just do it. But do it in a way that takes the self-judgment out of it. We put so much pressure on ourselves to be “right” when all we have to do is try with best intention. In many cases, we can accomplish much by doing the lesson, not just completing the lesson. Sometimes the answer is in the journey and just in knowing self better.
Now for the good news.
While this is a year of karma catching up to us, this is a year of dharma, too. Very simply put, karma is the challenge of the lesson that has to be faced and dharma is the reward for “good behavior”.
I spoke with a client and friend a couple of weeks ago and she told me about recent surprising events. About twenty years ago, she helped two friends start a business. They had a great idea but knew nothing about business. She knew a lot about business, had written books on it, so she guided them. She was a counselor to them for several years. The business flourished. In February of this year, they called her out of the blue and said they sold the business in January. For all the help she had given them, they were giving her $180,000 tax free to thank her. The money arrived the next day. She was shocked, stunned, amazed and grateful and has already helped others with her largess.
While that won’t happen to anyone else in the same way, it gives hope that what we deserve comes to us. It doesn’t come when we think it should, but it does come.
I offer this with love and gratitude…