When I connect with a client’s energy during a reading, I am able to see and feel not just their aura, but how they use the sphere of energy around them. I can see/feel where their major focus is, where their minor focus is, the annoyances, pleasures, unfinished karmic lessons and what’s left over. It appears and feels to me as a swirling sphere of energy around them. It’s easier to explain what I experience in two dimensions instead of three – I perceive their energy as a pie chart.
When we come into a life, our energy is all about “us” as we get used to being physical again in an unfamiliar time and place, so our pie chart is like a big solid yellow disc. Yellow is the solar plexus chakra color of our own personal sun or ego or outward expression of self. It can have darker or lighter shades of yellow based on the karma we bring into one life from another and the personal awareness we carry based on the age and wisdom of our souls.
As we relate to our parents, siblings, other people, pets, and our environment, little slices of the chart form in different colors, and brightness of colors, depending on how we react to each. We can see pink (unconditional love) from a mother or muddy brown (confusion or dislike) from an uncle who has no awareness that his personal negativity is coming off in uncomfortable, unavoidable waves. As babies, we respond more to the energy another gives off, which is usually unconsciously exuded, rather than what they say or do on the surface.
A slice of our energy is naturally focused on the individual or a piece of the environment that draws our attention, such as the color and motion of a mobile hanging over the crib or a relative making faces and talking at us. Wherever we look, that slice shifts in our chart to where our attention is focused, like the beam of a lighthouse seeking out ships at sea. For our first few months, when we sleep, our pie charts return to being solid yellow as we recharge our energy to take in more experiences when awake.
As we grow and become more aware of our environment and what’s going on around us, little slices of attention form throughout the chart. The energy of someone behind us becomes perceived even while our attention is still focused on whatever is in front of us. The perceived-but-not-focused-on pieces are less bright and less colorful than those we put our full attention to. We begin to develop layers of what we need to pay conscious attention to versus what we’re just aware of.
By the time we’re adults, we’ve developed multiple layers of our pie chart. The more we learn and experience, the more layers we build. The base survival, fear, or fight-or-flight level is probably the lowest and least consciously perceived and yet is still very strong and subtly influential. It forms our innate reactions to everything and everyone without ever surfacing for us to pay attention to it unless there are karmic issues about survival.
Childhood and/or karmic issues are above that but still on the low side and usually take up most, if not all, of that level of the chart. This level holds the guiding forces that draw us to some people, give us an immediate negative reaction to others and give us our karmic paths of achievements and pay-backs. These levels temporarily burst into our conscious layer as a small or large, dull or bright, piece of the pie when our buttons are pushed by others or a situation occurs that reminds us of our past that needs to be dealt with or healed.
Toward the top are the layers that deal with what we’ve learned and how we function on a day-to-day basis, in work, with family and friends, with others, with our world. Above that are layers of our higher, energetic selves (four of our seven expressions of self are not physical but pure vibration or energy). These are perceived above-and-beyond our three dimensional world. They are coming more into focus as we move into the Aquarian Age vibrational awakening.
The pieces of pie in the chart and the flow of attention bringing in wedges from levels above and below form a beautiful, constantly moving and changing dance of our conscious, subconscious and super-conscious selves.
The ideal energetic flow is balanced, with that sweeping lighthouse beam focusing on what is the most important and attention-getting of the moment. But rarely are we in perfect balance. We are constantly learning things, facing new challenges that help us grow, adapting to what’s around us, to people’s moods, to stress, to love and to hundreds of little attractions and detractions every moment of every day. The day-to-day also includes us dealing with our karma and past life experiences that teach us or are being healed in this life if they didn’t get healed in another.
When we have an intense need, the slice of our attention, both consciously and energetically, is large and fully focused, usually taking most of our energy. This sometimes comes when we have not had the love we want and so are predominantly focused on getting that love. Or when we are needed by others, such as by a loved one who is in illness and despair. That feeling can become so large, it overshadows everything else we experience.
Then that one wedge or need or concern can take up to sixty or seventy-five percent of our pie chart because the emotion or experience is the most important thing in our lives. That means the energy we reserve for self to be able to function, to recharge, to give to others, is very much out of balance, even if we aren’t consciously aware of it.
I’ve seen this with people who are obsessed with finding love with a partner. A lot of that need is because we feel lonely in this Aquarian Age/Piscean Age transition as the comfort of the New Age has yet to settle in. And because many still unconsciously hold on to the Piscean Age concept that a woman needs to have a man for identity, or a man needs a woman to take care of him.
I’ve also seen it with women (and some men) who take on or are tasked with caring for a parent or grandparent who is ill or dying. They don’t know how to separate care-taking from giving everything they’ve got and it costs them. Giving so much of your energy, again sometimes up to seventy-five percent, means there’s nothing for self and everyday life. That takes a toll that most don’t pay attention to so when a crisis is over, they never take the time to refill their energetic pie chart with healing for themselves.
This out-of-balance energy, if left unchecked or unhealed, can begin to influence then rule our lives and, in many cases, make us stuck as we get older so we focus on only what we didn’t get or what we weren’t able to recoup.
How many of us have seen or known elderly individuals stuck in a moment of their lives that was disappointing – them not being loved by a parent or unable to fulfill a dream? While we’re younger, we aren’t aware that this kind of pie-chart imbalance can lead us to that an unfulfilling elderhood, but it can.
Usually, we are unaware of how we give our energy, or how our pie chart is divided and unbalanced, at least consciously so. But being aware of how we use our energy, of where our conscious focus is, how our perceived-but-not-focused-on attention is spent, and the other levels that make up how we use our energy is paramount. Especially right now.
2018 is a year of balance. That is a gift in our development as human beings. It’s also one of our biggest challenges. We have been so used to giving what society and others demand, we are unaware of being out-of-balance so we don’t know what to fix.
Try seeing yourself as the center of your own pie chart of energy and pay attention to the balance of your outgoing energy as it becomes wedges of that chart. Imagine the wedges with color, clarity and focus if they are important and demand attention, or less colorful and less clear for those areas and people that don’t need your full attention. Be aware how much you give by choice or by necessity. Be aware what wedges you resent.
You can do this as a meditation or simply by taking a moment to look at yourself from this perspective. If doing this as a meditation, try to perceive your pie chart and the wedges with all your senses, even if that seems silly. It helps in the clarity of awareness. Some wedges may remain unclear unless extra effort is given as they’ve been with you for a long, long time.
As always, the more aware we are of self, the more in balance we are, the more productive, happy and healthy we are. Imbalance doesn’t just affect our moods, it eventually affects our health, sometimes very seriously The first step is to be aware of what’s going on within and how we manifest that. The second is to start to shift how we don’t want to behave into the way we do. This year, any energy put into that awareness will pay off double.
I offer this with love and gratitude…