ON LOVE AND DATING

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ON LOVE AND DATING

Venus is now direct (as of Sunday, September 6th). That is a huge relief for everyone who experienced the oppression that sat on all matters of relationships for a very long seven weeks.

The New Moon on Sunday, September 13th brought new energy, a new beginning. Especially so as it fell on Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. With it was a Solar Eclipse that was very potent. Every eclipse gives us an opportunity to be disconnected from ourselves and our past as we are separated from the light of the Sun by the intervening Moon. It allows our logical left-hemisphere of the brain to take a break and our intuitive right-hemisphere to lead.

With that break of the eclipse, we were able to complete left-over Venus retrograde energy and are ready for a whole new, positive love experience. Forward motion is possible. People can date again. Relationships can actually work.

The heightened energy brought by the Venus retrograde of seeing and fearing the worst, being hurt and suspicious, accusing and fighting, getting separated and even divorced is gone. While none of that was pleasant, it was necessary for us to get the truth of what we were bringing to a relationship (or not), what partners were bringing (or not) and whether the relationship had any reason to continue.

While not everyone was in a relationship, those same energies applied to dating, including being hyper-sensitive to what was (or was not) happening and what we were (or were not) getting from the partner. Even if it was a first date. Sensitivities ran so high that the failure of any first contact brought the HUGE reaction of re-feeling every opportunity that had failed in the past.

Not many of us really look at our own personal issues that can cause a date or relationship to fail. But that’s what this Venus retrograde during God-Smacking August in Looking-Inward Summer was all about. Talk about a three-punch combo.

So, whew, that is over. But Venus going direct doesn’t mean that relationships don’t still need to be repaired or worked on. Or getting into a relationship automatically falls into place without effort. Or even dating is going to take off like a rocket. It means what we learned about love can now be put into practice with forward movement. Or rather, what we learned about ourselves and love. While matters of love and relationship will be so much easier to experience now, we still need to apply what we’ve learned to how we behave.

There are two aspects we bring to every relationship – be it a first date or a 20 year marriage – what we give and what we receive. It’s that simple. And that complicated. In a perfect world, we as balanced human beings give and receive love equally, easily and purely. In our world, as we are learning to be perfect and are more often than not unbalanced, giving and receiving love is greatly affected by what we gave or received (or, more specifically, didn’t) in the past. That includes past lives, childhood and previous relationships.

In our fast-paced society, we rarely take time to heal and re-balance ourselves after we’ve been hurt. The saying goes: “To get over someone, get under someone else.” But, that doesn’t work.

If we don’t take the time to heal and re-balance, we carry baggage forward. A past partner cheated so any behavior even remotely reminiscent of that with a current or new partner – no matter how innocent – brings suspicion. That can harm the partner who has done nothing wrong. And be devastating to the relationship. Because re-balancing and healing after a failed relationship wasn’t seen as a priority so the fear of repetition lingers.

The point of what I’m saying, and what the Venus retrograde was all about, is that the difficulties we faced about love during those seven weeks really had to do with how we were able to give and receive without letting our baggage come into play. If we had any baggage at all, it came right up in our faces so we could consciously know it and let go of it. The retrograde didn’t show us where someone else was wrong, but what we were doing and bringing subconsciously that was out-of-balance within.

So in this new beginning, try to be consciously aware that the energy we exude, purposefully and innately, calls to us someone to match us. If we are out-of-balance and filled with unresolved hurt from the past, we call someone to us who either is as unbalanced and hurt as we are, or someone who will push the buttons of our own imbalance and pain. Those already in a relationship will still get that mirror energy which is how feelings grow, shift and fall apart all the time, even for those who’ve been together for decades. Because we are all evolving and changing, all the time.

What we can do is be responsible for what we bring to a relationship. Work on being aware of what that mirror is showing us. Stay out of blame. Take people and situations for what they are in the moment. Avoid comparing people to what you’ve already experienced – with them or with another. Stay out of fear that relationships won’t work or won’t last.

Focus on your positive. Try using part of my Love Spell – the part that requires a list of 40 things you’d like about you if you met yourself for the first time. If what we exude is what we call to us, then be very clear on how wonderful you already are. Make the list – first person, present tense, without negatives (check out the Metaphysigifts section of my website for more info) – and read it to yourself once a day for 40 days in a row. Read it either morning or evening, or both, to be conscious of what makes you lovable.

That then becomes the energy you exude. How can anybody resist that?

One note on the Mercury retrograde, however. Since retrograde energy is always about going over what we need to re-examine, usually about self, if we didn’t get any of the lessons the Venus retrograde taught us, they will come up again between September 17th and October 9th – in the sign of Libra which is all about balance and relationship. If the Venus energy tried to make us see where we were wrong in a relationship instead of blaming the partner and we didn’t want to get it, the same issues will come up again.

Hanging on tight and avoiding the lessons in any retrograde never works, so go with the flow and see what it tells us.

With love and gratitude…

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